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Did you know that Gurtien Ministries spends $800/year on Astroglide™ alone! Certainly, our lube bill is a trifle compared to the cost of unholy texts, outreach programs, pyrotechnics, audio visual equipment, and the good ol' power bill. Shit ain't free, homeboy.
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We accept (A) Lambos, (B) hordes of plundered booty, and (C) Honus Wagner rookie cards. |
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A life of Satanism has its rewards. And so, costs. Yin and yang. Pay up, or back the fuck up! A variety of gift programs are available to donors for the Gurtien Satanic Ministries. They can be tailored to fit individual, family, or estate plans.
Some common charitable plans:
- The sum total of your final will and estate.
- Marketable public securities.
- Hot European sports cars.
- Stock in publicly held companies.
- Charitable Remainder Trusts; annuities that provide income to the ministry, while offering tax savings to the donor. Win/win.
- Real estate, especially castles.
- Lead Trusts.
- Savings Bonds. No junk.
- Pieces of art, antiques, baseball cards, jewelry, grandma's silver, and other valuables.
Remember this ministry in your will and estate. It is your last gift and your best gift, and your biggest gift to Satan.
YES, REV. GURTIEN, PLEASE CONTACT ME ABOUT THESE OPPORTUNITIES!
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© Copyright 2003,2004,2005,2006,2007 Charles Gurtien Satanic Ministries |
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